Today is the first day of my mom's chemotherapy treatments. I am trying to stay calm and not have a breakdown like I've been doing the rest of the week. I am surprisingly a lot calmer than I have been. Maybe blowing up at my aunt yesterday unleashed the majority of all the anger I have been holding inside towards that family in general through all of this. I know that they have a right to be around and a right to be worried about her, but they also need to give us some space and stop treating me like I am 8 when I am 25.
We are leaving in about an hour to go to the hospital. My aunt Karen, my sister, and I are goin with her. I personally think it should have been immediate family only for the first time until we all get used to things, but no one really asked for my opinion. Also, this isn't about me, its about my mom. I have to go with whatever she decides ultimately because it is her decision.
Last night my dad and I took turns cleaning various rooms of the apartment and keeping an eye on my nephew, Gabriel. It worked out really well actually. We got the apartment clean and I still had time to get a nap in after Gabe left. After I woke up from my nap, which ended up being a little longer than intended, I made myself some dinner, showered, and then packed my "chemo bag."
Online, on some cancer site, I saw some ideas for what to pack if you are a chemo patient or just someone who is going to be spending the day with the patient while they have chemo. It suggested games to play, books to read, things to write on, laptops, phone chargers, ipods and mp3 players, handheld video games, etc. Basically things to keep everyone entertained during treatment. They also suggested snacks and water and things like that, but the Cancer Center said that they provide most of that--esp to the patient.
We will get through this...I will get through this...
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